Positive focus, Challenge the negative, Believe. (Life lessons 4-6)

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Following on from my last blog, this weeks life lessons…..

4) Challenge the negative self talk! 

I was speaking to a client this week & she mentioned how her ‘self talk’ was actually getting less negative & she felt she was achieving a more positive outcome. Whilst it’s something that’s very rarely talked about, we all have ‘self talk’. You know, the stuff where we say in our heads – you could have done that better or that was rubbish!!
In achieving personal growth, it actually helps to question this sabotaging negative self talk. Is what the self talk is saying actually true? Does it really have foundation? – Many times not!
A number years ago I did a neuro linguistic programming course that in part looked at the way we process information & communicate.
They suggested questioning the negatives & restructuring your own framework of thinking – reframing. This does help tremendously, although as with anything, it takes practice.
Be careful what that critical voice tells you, then try the reframing/questioning technique.

Try some positives for a change & see how it affects your demeanour. If said with conviction, it actually effects you physically – powerful stuff.
In your head, in a normal speaking voice, say I can, I can, I can, now shout it in your head with conviction. Do you notice how that makes you feel different?

5) Have self belief & sole responsibility

So, with the leavers assembly done & the school shirt signed my eldest has now officially finished school. Wow! A new chapter of life ahead – how exciting! Here’s a quote I found that is a lesson I would like her to know & understand.


“The best day of your life is the one you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours and it’s an amazing journey & you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life truly begins.”

Whilst I will always be there for support & encouragement, it helps to know that you are the captain of your own destiny.
I read that kids need wings & roots- Wings to soar high, but family roots laid for support & nurturing if required.
The other saying I love is;

” whether you think you can, or think you can’t. You are right.”
Sometimes I think we underestimate the power of positive affirmation & thinking, and the affect it has in our whole demeanour.
I would encourage my daughter to truly believe in herself & trust in the lovely young lady she has become.

6) Success log

Following on from the lesson 4, one thing I get some clients to do is create a success log. Every day for 100 days you write something – either big or small, you have achieved towards your goal. For instance -” I made good food choices today” or I did a little extra effort today on my exercise.
At the end you have 100 reasons to stick the course & show that you can be successful.
Focus on the positive, question the negative, believe.

Best wishes
Stuart 😊

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